Been a While

Since I posted on this blog. So, here's my contribution to the August blahs... I do not have anything quite as witty or funny as the Hanna entry. See, at the Pile, as I affectionately call my park, we aren't ever very busy and we really only get visitors from Southern California. Seriously. I had 30 people at my Evening Program last weekend and not a one of them was from anywhere North of Bakersfield. Wow! And in case you were wondering, no, I did not do a new program. See, I'm not so much ever in the schedule, so in a pinch, I changed some scenics and reinvented the Log of Life. It was a hit. Admittedly, I think it was mostly due to the gratuitous photos of baby animals. Seriously.

So, and update on the toe... it's still broken. This week will bring an ortho specialist into my life. Thank goodness for insurance.

And a note about my living situation... So, the other evening, I had just finished my 2nd gin and tonic of the night and decided at that moment, it was time for a nice hot shower. Clearly. So I put my glass in the sink, grabbed my shower bucket, put on my crocs, and draped my towel around my shoulders to take the chilly walk to the showers as if I was 19 again in the dorms. See, the difference is that when I was in college, I didn't have to walk outside to both pee and use the shower. Just when you think you're making strides in your life... So anyways, I walk into the shower and put my little girly floofy thing down on the shelf and I saw something hop out from underneath it. Outstanding. As I was standing there in a towel, I looked up on the stainless steel wall of the shower and saw this little tiny frog that I almost overwhelmed with the "sensual amber" scent of my floofy thing. I couldn't help myself. I had to postpone the shower and watch the little guy crawl through the soap scum sticky little pad by sticky little pad. Hilarious, really. Standing in a freezing shower half naked watching a very cold frog climb through soap scum. He finally crawled up and out of the shower and my entertainment for the evening was over. I then proceeded to pull other people's fur out of the drain so the shower quit filling up with water and got on with my shower. Some day I will have my own shower with no frogs and I'll know where the soap scum and the fur came from. Whoa! Dream big!
Okay, so that is this week's rant. Till next time...

It's August....

Well it is August here at the Craig Thomas Discovery and Visitor Center, and most other places I would assume. It is a special time of year here. The nights are starting to get colder, football season starts in a week, the morning scooter commute is a bit more painful, and the good rangers that open these doors every morning to the thousands of visitors wondering where Jenny's Lake is, are cranky. We have told approximately 124, 376 people where Hidden Lake (Hidden Falls) and Cascade Point (Cascade Canyon/Inspiration Point) are. It's that special time of year when we start self-dispatching ourselves to anywhere except behind the visitor center desk. It is a self preservation tactic. I personally got out of all of my desk time yesterday thanks to some ambulance calls and my stellar husband covering for me. Last week I passed one of our interns pulling out of the parking lot in the middle of the day. She stopped me and asked if it was ok if she went and picked up her sister in Colter Bay (25 miles away) so she could come to her program. Hmmm... I said, "Don't get in a wreck and we did not have this conversation." Another ranger self dispatched away from her desk shift early for her championship kickball game. I was pretty jealous of that. It is that special time of year when our answers are a little shorter and every once in a while our sarcasm sneaks out in our responses. In honor of our cynicism we have gathered together many of our favorite moments from this summer.

So here they are in no particular order, our Summer Superlatives!

Best VisitorSuggestion :
Move the Gros Ventre Campground. For you folks that are not familiar the Gros Ventre Campground I think is about the size of Rhode Island. It is 300+ sites full of RVs bigger than any house I have lived in for a while. To set the stage for you this gem of a suggestion came from an older couple camped there who probably owns one of those above mentioned RVs. The whole time the husband is telling me how we should move the campground closer to the highway, his wife is chatting about how much extra gas it takes to get to the campground. I was so stunned by the suggestion all I could think of to say was, "Well sir that would be a huge project." His response, " Well yea but they could just regrow the old campground area." Clay suggested we offer them the Park Planner position.

Most Awkward Moment:
I sold my Gynecologist a boat permit. I had just been in her office that morning. Neat.

Best Ranger Advice to a Visitor:
Visitor Question: What is your best hiking advice?
My Response: One foot in front of the other.

Best Visitor Question:
What is the sexiest part of the Tetons?

Most Cynical Ranger Statement:
Bob Henry: "Oh it's fine I'll take C-Spine."
This statement was in response to us watching three small children climb to the top of some rocks outside the visitor center 20' above the ground.

Best Ranger to Ranger Comment:
"Since no one seems to want to talk to you about rocks could you cover the desk, I gotta go take a poop."
From David Coyne to myself after no one came to my Geology Talk.

Best Phone Conversation With a Visitor:
Me: Craig Thomas Discovery and Visitor Center this is Aimee
Golden Age Pass Holder from Arizona: Do you have lodging in the park?
Me: Ye...
Husband of Golden Age Pass Holder from Arizona: Is there one central reservation number for all national parks? (apparently he was on the phone in the living room and she was in the kitchen..super)
Me: No.
Wife: But so is there lodging in the park?
Husband: So is there one central number for reservations to all national parks?
Wife: She already told you no.
Husband: But I am just trying to ask if there is an 800 number for lodging to all national parks?
Wife: She already told you no.
Husband: So there is no central reservation number?
Me: Nope.
It was super fun conversation that actually lasted much longer than this. But I think you get the idea they talked to one another a lot and I would just either confirm or deny their questions.

Best Morning Report Incident:
Visitors trying to ride a moose calf.

Best Intern Moment:
Our Park Superintendent attended one of our first year intern's walks. She also brought some of her Superintendent friends from other parks. And his supervisor was coaching his program. We all just sat in the back watching him leave making comments like, "I would need extra deodrant and a change of pants."

Best Interaction with the Bookstore Clerks:
Clerk: Apparently someone couldn't make it.
Ranger: What?
Clerk: Someone peed in the middle of the bookstore.
Ranger: Copy.


*I would like to thank Mr. David Coyne and Mrs. Kristen Dragoo for their contributions to this blog entry.