The Cop Stache Phenomenon

I think that the best thing about being a female in this crazy academy (aside from the many different ways we get to wear our hair... (up in a bun, or, hold on, get ready, up in a bun) is that we can take comfort in knowing that we will never, ever, have to succumb to the "cop stache" phenomenon. Never in my life have I ever seen such half assed attempts at growing such a useless bit of facial hair. If you're going to grow a mustache, own it. Tom Selleck comes to mind. I think there should be a thickness requirement. The worst part is, they're serious about that strip of peach fuzz on their upper lip. Very serious. And there seems to be an awful lot of newly acquired peach fuzz, probably grown specially for the academy. Ah, to be a girl, and avoid such peer pressure...

The Scooter Experience in G-Ville

I have finally made it back to the 'Silver State.' And although I have still yet to locate necessary cooking utensils I do have a place to live. Moving in was a big cluster (par for the course for this segment of my life). We didn't get to move our stuff in until much later than expected and the whole condo was left disgusting. Hence the two cleaning ladies who came by early the next morning. But I was able to let out some pent up aggression as I tore apart the huge computer desk (matches well with the huge TV that was left as well) that was left in one of our bedrooms. I borrowed a hammer from my neighbor for said project, but declined his offer of a sledge hammer. Seemed like it might get too messy. Oh yea and the place came with a cat. Clearly. But after a week and a half of being here I have started the unpacking process including retrieving the sweet scooter from my friend's garage. Although my commute here is about the same distance as in the Tetons it is all a new experience. Both are a bit sketchy though. In the Tetons I had to watch out for the families in their rented RV trying to find their way to Jenny Lake. And in their state of confusion they forgot that all normal driving rules still apply in National Parks. Here I just have to navigate traffic, stop at red lights, merge in and out of traffic, and slow down for school zones. I realize this all sounds like normal driving situations until you are on a tiny 49 cc scooter that tops out at 43 mph (downhill). Then add to the mix my fellow drivers who are driving trucks so loud and large that they seem like they should be in some sort of monster truck competition, and the morning commute gets pretty exciting. Fortunately there is only a short section of my commute where the speed limit is unattainable (45 mph) for 'the phoenix'. No matter where I am the scooter makes the commute to and from work a much more enjoyable experience. I suggest you all come and take it for a ride :)

More from California

After a grand total of 16 hours of federal law (i.e. Death By Powerpoint), I'm still here. 2.5 weeks down. I have checked out some local parks in the off time, though. Bear has taken to rolling in goose poop and ripping up grass around ground squirrel holes with his teeth to try to extricate them with one paw. Genius. He must be bored, because he has also decided to start chasing (and catching) disc golf discs. This new skill, although humorous, has caused injury to several of my favorite discs. We also managed to put a hole in a baby pool during bath time. Bathing two 70 pound dogs in a baby pool is a less than advisable task. I've noticed that we're finding joy in much more simple things out here. Probably for lack of large mountains on which to nearly kill ourselves. Hopefully we'll remedy that soon.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Well, academy isn't quite like Hogwarts, but I do think it's pretty magical that I've learned how to properly shoot a firearm. And I haven't seen any bewitched ceilings. But its a class nonetheless and I seem to be making it through. Today marks the end of 2 weeks. 7 more to go. Bear has settled in, too. He spends his days eating walnuts in the yard. Strangely enough, there are no squirrels in Sonoma County, so I think he's fairly disappointed. We found a great place to stay about 20 minutes from the academy. I am not, however, accounting for the stop and go traffic I encounter every day. At that moment, skills such as apparition would we significantly more useful than the memorization of the Bill of Rights. Oh, the fun never stops. And neither does the marching. I'm getting rather good at it, actually. I'm sure I'll use it. Alot. I see party games coming on... This will be a good adventure, really. The first part, living out of the subaru, was a bit stressful, but it seems to be getting better. The shooting is fun... in a stressful, high energy sort of way. I have not however, lost focus. Ski season is quickly approaching and fortunately, there's a climbing gym in Santa Rosa. Saving graces, really. It's important to stay focused. Hopefully adventures in the Bay Area this weekend! :)

Drive Fast School

No pics for this post, but just a first day of school update. I may have gotten an orange plastic gun. And a cool belt 7 sizes too big. And learned to march. Yep, I had to figure out which heel to turn on. There was lots of yelling. Hut... What does that mean? Hut. Why does that make me want to move? Bizarre. But I think it'll be good. Super small class and they seem like good people. Although they all said none of them could do interp on the intros. Then I got up and said I'd been doing it for 10 years. Represent. I don't think they were as impressed as they should have been. Interp is indeed impressive. You appreciate it more when you get to LE class and they say that one of hardest things we'll learn to do is talk to visitors. Oh, the irony.

Also, may have found a place for me and beardog. It has a hottub. Fingers crossed. ;) Thanks for all the support!!! I'll start making phone calls soon, when the stress level comes down a bit.

-M

Bluegrass, Discgolf, and the Ghetto

So we got to Tahoe and might have not had any place to live. Either one of us. Even after the free hotel room. We eventually locked in a townhouse, but Aimee can't move in until the 15th. Sooooo, the homelessness continues. The upside is that Bear got to go on his first camping trip. Camped up at the lake (because we had no other place to live. Sweet). He did great. Didn't even put a hole in Clay's tent. Then we took him to watch the Kokanee spawning. One of the sweetest things I've ever seen. A recommendable fall activity in the Tahoe area. We left the elk mating in the Tetons, for the Kokanee spawning in the Sierras. Nothing like a little love. Then to Petaluma, where Ben and Cynthia have been excellent enough to allow both of us homeless miscreants to sleep on their floor while house hunting...

Oh, the house hunting... Mixed reviews on this part of the adventure. The freebies have continued, so that's been sweet, but, the househunting has been entertaining. There was this one place... seriously deliverance. We did a driveby... Yikes! Grandpa was out on the front porch in a wifebeater. Should not have been in a wifebeater... and there were so many appliances in the yard, I found it wery ironic that they had no washer or dryer on site. I saw it. I swear. It was just in the dirt on the side of the house. No one told them that if you move it inside and connect it, it works a lot better. The other places we looked at were either 1. in the Ghetto or 2. in a weird little town full of methheads. But we have a lead. A friend of a friend of a friend thing in Windsor. Fingers crossed.

Yesterday was a free Bluegrass show in San Fran. Bear got to go. There were no rules. It was a great show. John Prine, Los Lobos, Bruce Hornsby, and Bela Fleck, just to name a few on the menu. It was sweet. The best part, aside from Bruce Hornsby, was the grown man in a dinosaur head scaring small children. Or the dad smoking pot next to the stroller with the Coors light in the stroller drink holder. Sweet. But the shows were good. If one more person tells me how "poor" a dog I have... And I learned something new... Bear only has three legs. In a town where men can wear tutus to a rock show, you'd think there would be something else to mock than the three legged wonder dog.

Today, we all went to play disc golf. Bear chased geese. He's sleeping now. That is a big day. More adventures to come. Tuesday is D-Day, except without the water and add pepper spray and tazers. And I don't think anyone is going to shoot at me, at least not on the first day.

The pics: Bear's 1st camping trip. Aimee couldn't get enough of Inspiration Point at the Tetons, so we found one in Tahoe. The Kokanee spawning. And yes, that's Bruce Hornsby on that piano.

Long Drives, Bright Lights

This begins our next adventure, and its starting out spectacularly... Well, sort of. Here's the good. We managed to leave Wyoming at 2 pm. So much for the 8am departure. We packed EVERYTHING we owned plus the three legged wonder dog into two cars and started driving. We made it all the way to Salt Lake. We may have then bottomed out the scooter trailer on Larry's driveway, but no worries--- the scooter is just fine. Then, Larry made us Tortilla Soup. It was about the most delicious meal ever. We had a warm bed (made much colder thanks to ill advisedly leaving the window open for the dog) and a hot shower in the morning. Plus, she made us pancakes with chokecherry syrup for breakfast. Score! And Bear got to run around in the backyard with Larry's two puppies. So at the crack of 10am, we left Salt Lake for Reno. Nevada is a state that needs a cloud and a tree more than any I have ever been to. It was 8 hours of sagebrush and mountains that needed rain. Lots of rain. The scooter stayed on the back of the CRV without incident and Bear somehow managed to contort into a position of comfort, eventually. Then we got to Reno. We did score a free hotel room at the Holiday Inn thanks to my parents value point card thingy. There was no continental breakfast, but we did get free passes to something in the casino downstairs. The best part about this particular hotel was the complete lack of a rear or side entrance. What did that mean for us? Walking though the lobby with the three legged dog and a rather cumbersome mountain bike that surely would have otherwise been stolen. Downtown Reno isn't the safest ciy in the world. And because of that, we then, after not making eye contact with anyone in the hotel for fear they would kick out either the dog, or the bike, went to Lowes to purchase a large chain cable and an even larger lock. After riding to dinner with 70 pounds of hair on my lap, we secured the scooter with said chain and lock. Dinner was delightful. We ate at the Wild River Grill on the Truckee River. The food and atmosphere were both great. Even better, though, were the outdoor heaters. And the fact that because of the outdoor heaters, we were the only ones outside, and our waitress sort of forgot about us. Insert free beer. She bought us each a beer for forgetting us. At $5 a pint, it was a pretty good deal. And to continue with the freebies... We enjoyed a relaxing morning of Sports Center in our freee hotel room (thanks dad!). Then we travelled on down the road to Starbucks, because apparently Reno had no bagel shops. I clipped Bear to an outside table. Genius. This delightful lady named Mary came by and, as do most people, felt really bad for Bear, the three leg thing and all. So, for adopting this gem, she offered to buy our coffee. Both being unemployed, there was really only a slight argument. What she didn't realize, however, is that Bear is about the most spoiled animal on the planet and certainly doesn't drink coffee. And, yes, that is the first time I have used my crippled dog for a meal. I knew he would pay off... So then, we get to Gardnerville (which for the purposes of this blog and all other correspondence will from this point be G-Ville) and find out that the townhouse we were supposed to move into today won't be ready until the 15th of October... Waaaaaa-waaaaaaa. So now we've got 2 cars LOADED to the ground with stuff, and no place to live. To the storage unit. We somehow managed to get everything from 3 people into a 5X10 unit. A-mazing. It's not going to be pretty when it gets unloaded. To maximize vertical space, we may have thrown some things. Maybe. So now that's figured out. I'm going to Santa Rosa tomorrow. I'm homeless there too. It's more expensive. Sweet. I'm taking Aimee with. She has no job. That was a new addition to the mix this morning. She's negotiating that point. So for now, to Santa Rosa where the only place we have to live doesn't take dogs. Damn the man! Hopefully, upon Aimee's return, her boss will have gotten lots of jobs and pass them on to her favorite Park Ranger. But ski passes are bought and Don taught me how to shoot a gun, so let the adventures begin! (Sorry Clay...)

Pics are as follows...
-Cars are loaded at the Highlands. Bear had no idea what he is excited about.
-So we can't even tell you whether this was in Nevada or Utah. That's how interesting it was.
-Bear's happy place.
-The biggest little city in the world. Cool.
-The sideways storage unit. Done and done. And don't know how to rotate pics yet.