Another Lesson Learned About Cute Underwear

I am not a cyclist. Like I am not a climber. Like I am not a runner. Like I am not a skier... no wait, that's a lie, I am a skier. But the point is, I am one of those people who does a lot of things in a mediochre fashion, with the exception of skiing, at which I'd like to think I am okay. For example... I climb socially, like when I have people to climb with and there will be beer at the end of the day. When I'm into it, I'm into it and can get up some 5.10c's with the best of them. When I'm not into it, I struggle hopelessly up a 5.9 crack and flounder my way through a 5.7 offwidth with significant cursing and grunting. And it really only bothers me a little. When I'm into running, I run often. Slow, but often. And when not, I don't feel that bad. But with each of these sports, when you do them, there are little tricks that you pick up as a novice moving through the stages of development. In my years of mountaineering and ski touring I have finally learned how to pack a winter pack and keep it under 45 pounds. It only took like 8 years. This is the peril of doing a lot of things infrequently. So what I have learned about riding a bike after three straight 9 hour days on one... the lessons have been many. I learned I could ride both up and down stairs, wriggle my little bike through tight cones, and jump small logs in a graceless bound. But perhaps the most valuable lessons was related to, as I find many of the best lessons are, cute underwear.

So having worked in a few visitor centers in my day, I have always sort of mocked the spandex shorts. Okay. This week I have discovered the genius of the spandex shorts. There is no part of riding a bike that is good for regular shorts. I'll let your imaginations fill in the rest. Okay, and the seam issue. So after day two which was particularly hot, I realized why cyclists often run commando in the spandex. Now, me, not being a cyclist, would have assumed panty line issues. Okay, well, not really, but it is a consideration... No, the real reason is related to the seams on your cute girly underwear and the pressure enacted upon them by your seat. Unfortunate. See, if I was a cyclist, I would know this, and therefore, this mistake could have been avoided. I know there were other folks in this class that had this epiphany many years ago and surely look at me as I look at backpackers with garbellion hanging loose all over their packs. As if to say "Oh, seriously. Look at that poor sap."

Many things I have done this year have been learning experiences for me. This one goes out to all my fellow females who occasionally ride their bikes to work, or to the store... If embarking on a lengthy ride of any kind, say a light tour, or a mountain bike ride, my advice is to rock a little Under Armor and to leave the Victoria's Secret in the drawer. See all the cool new stuff I'm learning at work? Man, what a job!